I’m not a cat lover, but I am a lover of the Cats That Look Like Pin Up Girls Tumblr. It’s worth a peek and a forward to a friend or two.
Now you can multi-task that crawling into shiny clean floors with !he baby mop from BetterThanPants.com. So funny, a really great gift idea for the holidays!
After giving birth to our daughter last May, we drove home from the hospital with 10 extra pounds in the car. Only 8.3 of them belonged to our daughter. Yes, I too am part of the growing trend of keeping your placenta to encapsulate it for the various benefits like warding off post-pardum depression and getting your body back in balance and feeling great quickly which I was totally committed to doing. For the relatively low price of just $75, I dropped my placenta off to a woman who really knows what she’s doing (not just some weirdo who cooks placentas in her free time- because believe me, they’re out there!) and picked up 90 neat little capsules the next day housed in an amber glass jar. (She also dehydrated the cord in the shape of a heart for a really creepy keepsake for which I can’t seem to find the proper home.)
I managed to take the first pill about a week later without gagging which required a lot of mental preparation and alone time. I kicked Mike out of the kitchen who was just staring at me and waiting for me to puke. Her enclosed instructions were for me to take 5 of them 3 times a day (!) which I haven’t done of course, just a few here and there because luckily I feel great and back to normal which left me to wonder about another use for my encapsulated organ lurking in my fridge. And then it hit me. Facials!
And why not? My facialist Tajden sells an ultra luxe cream made from sheep’s placenta for a few hundred bucks so why wouldn’t I just use my own? We brainstormed what to mix it with and decided that aloe would be the best and most neutral choice that wouldn’t upstage the star of the show. Last night I finally worked up the nerve to prepare my first placenta facial.
A few squirts of pure aloe gel (the kind you can eat and need to keep in the fridge) and 3 capsules of placenta powder later, I was spreading the chunky mixture onto my skin. It has a definite..um.. scent which may or may not be the herbs she adds to the placenta when she encapsulates it. After covering my face and neck I had quite a bit left over so I went over to Mike and started spreading it onto his face- not uncommon for me to do since I’m always trying out different things to review and an extra face sometimes comes in handy.
“What is this? It smells weird” he asked.
Shit. I thought he knew what I was mixing up in the kitchen and was just being extra agreeable due to newborn parent exhaustion.
“It’s my placenta.” I said it very calmly as to not set off any alarms. “Oh, and aloe,” I added to make the experience a bit more palatable.
He didn’t ask me if I was kidding, he just got really quiet and looked at me to see if I was serious or not. I was.
“Take it off of me before I throw up it stinks.”
“But you told me that you’d take one first to see how it made you feel before I started taking them.” (He didn’t.)
“I’d rather ingest one than have it smeared on my face.”
Well that’s where we differ.
He was holding the baby which prevented him from doing what he wanted to do; run to the sink, scrub it off, totally freak out, repeat.
“My placenta and I are both offended, and besides it’s the herbs you’re smelling” I said without really knowing if it was. I could see him eyeing a piece of placenta on my forehead, a charred, chunky reminder that this was no ordinary mask and no ordinary facial. While he washed his face clean about 6 or so seconds in, I hung in there for 10 minutes before removing it with cool water and discovering my skin was, um, red as f*ck. It didn’t feel like it was irritated per se, but man I wondered how my innocent placenta could betray me like this. I decided it was the mysterious herb blend and splashed more cold water on my skin before adding some soothing cream and calling it a night. The redness and irritation didn’t last btw, and I woke up with soft, glowing skin. Success.
In the end, I decided that I’ll probably do it again. Creams that contain placenta, colostrum, foreskin, and other random body parts and excretions of animals are common, so why not use something I already know is pure and all mine? It didn’t help that I saw it pre-pills in all of its original glory (below), but now that I’m over that initial shock I’m happy that I kept this organ that I created to sustain life for my daughter. In a strange way it felt like not putting it to (another) use just seemed like a total waste of growing it in the first place because how awesome is it that I whipped this sucker up from nowhere?
And it’s not even the cream that’s the actual expensive part, it’s the packaging. Launching in September to commemorate their 30th anniversary, Clé De Peau’s iconic La Créme (which typically retails for $632) will be housed in 30 layers of crystal and and 3 platinum rings with a price tag of $13,000 a jar. If you’re into luxe creams and needlessly expansive packaging, you’re in luck – just hop on over to their flagship store in Japan and pick up one of the three available.
After the success of my Coconut Oil hair treatment I thought I’d tackle another DIY home beauty remedy I’ve been wanting to try for a while – rinsing my hair with Apple Cider vinegar. Gross. I think the idea of pouring warm vinegar all over my hair (and subsequently body) just wasn’t that appealing for obvious reasons, but seeing this John Masters Organics cider vinegar treatment at a recent trip to the store re-ignited my curiosity for what has long been one of the most popular (and easiest) home hair treatments out there. I convinced myself to go for it, but I’d mix my own – the John Masters version was mainly vinegar anyway with just a few natural extracts splashed in there to neutralize the scent, I thought I could get the same results at home for less than the $17 they were asking.
I thought the treatment was only used as a clarifier, something to remove reside from the hair and scalp but I was happy to find out how much more it actually does. I mixed together about 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water into a plastic cup. After shampooing twice (as I always do), I slowly poured the cider over my head until I felt it reach my scalp and trickle down the length of my hair. No rubbing or massaging required – just leave it in a few minutes to absorb and give it a quick rinse. This is about the time I started to worry about my thick, coarse hair not being conditioned enough to comb it out. I was sure I’d have giant knots and dried out hair without the usual slab of conditioner I carefully work into my ends – I thought I’d have to jump back into the shower and re-wash and condition to undo the mess I thought I was making.
I was pretty shocked when I was able to comb right through my hair (after my styling products were applied) just like usual. After it dried I could see that this was the best hair treatment I’ve ever used and my hair never looked better. It didn’t leave a squeaky clean feel like most clarifiers do (a good sign that some natural oils were left in) – instead it rinsed out enough reside and build-up to create a really intense shine. Best of all, my hair had a crazy amount of softness which I didn’t expect, it felt like I just left the salon with the kind of bounce and life that typically only happens after my stylist works her magic – but nothing I’ve ever created on my own.
Not knowing if it was just some crazy hair fluke, I did it again a week later. Again, magic. I’m addicted.
I’ve read varying reports on whether it strips color from hair, but I’m not concerned about it since it’s so gentle and the John Master’s version claims to neutralize your hair’s pH that can get out of whack after coloring so it’s actually good to keep your color fresh. One thing of note: I used Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar ($5.50) some of the best around, it’s unpasteurized with a low acidic level. I read that the type of vinegar you use does make a difference since a high acid cotent can actually be too harsh and not deliver the same results, so grab a good quality vinegar – it’s still a fraction of the cost of the store bought treatment and worth every cent.
I actually own something that looks kinda similar to this but it’s an insert for my shoes to give added arch support. But this isn’t for your feet, see. It’s called the Smooth Groove Camel Toe Solution and it’s used to even out the bulge caused by your hoo-ha. Instead of opting for, say – pants that fit for example, you can always throw in one of these labia guards and bam! A perfectly smoothed out crotch without those annoying female characteristics. Just check out their before and after photos if you’re wondering about how this breathable (and anti-bacterial, natch) little miracle works.
First all of those ‘Hail to the V’ Summer’s Eve commercials promting us to hose it down with deodorizing spray to mask any natural scent we might have, and now we have to just cover the damn thing up. When exactly did being a woman become something we need to be so ashamed of?
Thanks XOJane.com for the heads up.